As a self sufficient individual, I find it difficult to ask for help. I always thought that asking for help is admitting I’m weak, or that I am not a capable person. I have been learning that this is not the case. In fact, it takes a lot of strength to recognize that you need help, and to ask for it.
Suffering from invisible mental health struggles makes it very hard for me to understand it and explain what’s going on in my head. I feel alone and that no one will understand or be able to help me, so I just suffered in silence. Since I am known as a bubbly and outgoing person, I was afraid if I show a side of me that isn’t happy all the time, that people will not want to be around me anymore. It is almost like my personality became my identity so I can’t express emotions that’s not in line with this personality I am known for.
When I finally reached my breaking point where I lost control and couldn’t continue on with this facade anymore, I realized that I needed help and support outside of my medical team. I needed at least one person to lean on and to stop self isolating. I learned the hard way (several times) that I don’t have to wait until things get critical to ask for help. It’s scary to be vulnerable and admit that I need help, but that’s really the only way I can heal and move forward.
Consider opening up to a loved one that you feel safe with. You are in control, you can choose exactly how much to share. A lot of times when we are suffering, our minds tend to catastrophize. One of the exercises I have been practicing is to see these scenarios through. What is the worst thing that can happen? My therapist often asks me “and then what?” when I list off my fears. We go through the potential outcomes and the likelihood of these situations actually happening. This exercise shows me that even in my worst case scenario, things are never as bad as I imagine they may be (when I’m not being stubborn). Thanks to my therapist I now practice this “and then what?” coping skill to ground myself.
I have hid my mental health struggles and the severity of my conditions by isolating myself, but this isn’t the way. I recently had a relapse and I feel like I had to start from scratch again with my recovery process. But this time, I am not doing it alone. I learned to ask for help, not only from the medical professionals, but people in my personal life. Turns out, my most trusted people were actually happy that I opened up to them and gave them the chance to help. I do still struggle with intrusive thoughts like I am a burden to everyone. I just remind myself that if the situation was reversed, I would want to be there for my loved ones. I am still working on being patient and kind to myself. Trying to treat myself the way I would to a loved one who is struggling. I’m definitely still a work in progress.
Please be kind to yourself and don’t give up. This healing process is not linear but we have to keep fighting. Every day I am fighting through this feeling that I will never get better and it is too exhausting. I try to focus on what I can control and use my positive affirmations like “I am doing my best and that is enough”. There are many resources online, health care professionals, and groups available to help. Take it one day at a time, you are a warrior for fighting through this and it will get better. There is strength in reaching out for help. I hope my recovery journey helps provide some coping tools and let you know that you are not alone. We got this!
