Set Mindset vs Growth Mindset

I have been practicing my growth mindset to help with my coping and help me be more resilient when faced with challenges.

In a world that is constantly changing and evolving, having a growth mindset allows me to be more flexible and forgiving when things don’t go as planned. It’s been so instilled in me that if something doesn’t work out, it’s because I’m a screw up and somehow messed everything up. But there are things that are simply out of our control.

Set mindsets are absolute, viewed as unchangeable. Whereas, growth mindset is accepting that change is possible and new skills can be developed.

Below are some helpful growth mindset phrases to replace the set mindset thoughts with:

I try to be conscious of my automatic thoughts, to recognize the intrusive thoughts so that I can challenge them and shift them to thoughts from the growth mindset.

Seeing setbacks as complete failures (set mindset) almost always lead me spiraling to a dark place. But I have been choosing to see setbacks and challenges as opportunities for growth. They give me a chance to pivot, and I try to see them as potential for improvement (growth mindset).

I often struggle with intrusive thoughts so one reminder that I say to myself very often is: a thought is just a thought, and a thought can be changed. I try to fact check my own thoughts and ask myself if these thoughts are helpful. I then work on changing the thought to something more constructive, or I let the thought go if it’s not true or helpful to me. When I’m in my growth mindset, it allows me to cultivate more healthy perspectives, especially when faced with the curve balls from life.

Please be kind to yourself and don’t give up. Don’t be afraid to reach out and lean on your support system. There are many resources online, health care professionals, and groups available to help. Take it one day at a time, you are a warrior for fighting through this and it will get better. There is strength in reaching out for help. I hope my recovery journey helps provide some coping tools and let you know that you are not alone. We got this!

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is so powerful. I feel that this is almost like the “gateway” concept to so many other coping strategies and tools. I see mindfulness as a foundation to meditating.

What is mindfulness? This was the big question that was asked at the beginning of my very first group session. Here are some of the answers:

• being in the present moment. This takes practice since our minds tend to drift between the present, to the past, to the future.

• being aware of our feelings and surroundings

After many mindfulness sessions, I have memorized the definition: “mindfulness is intentionally being in the present moment without judgement and attachment”

An example of being in the present could be focusing on your breathing, taking 5 deep breaths and notice how your body feels as you do this. It could even be focusing on the texture of the soap on your fingers and the smell of the soap when you’re washing your hands. There are also some great (free) apps that can walk you through some exercises. I find it easier to have a guide when you’re just starting out. I will include some of my favorite apps at the bottom of this article.

Mindfulness is so much more than just being aware and living in the present moment. It is also:

• being open and letting go of any automatic judgments we may have associated to our experiences or feelings.

  • this will allow us to experience the moment as is

  • this will reduce triggers to emotional events

• experience each moment without attachment. Being able to let go of the past will truly allow us to be in the moment.

  • this will reduce our suffering (ruminating about negative thoughts or emotions)

I was initially intimidated by the concept of mindfulness because I’m not in tune with my emotions, and I have a hard time keeping my thoughts in check. But it’s been pointed out to me that even just the acknowledgment of this feeling is practicing mindfulness. So even if it’s something like noticing how your body is responding to a stressful situation, or recognizing the emotions you are feeling at the moment is a part of mindfulness. This definitely gave me the confidence that I can learn to practice mindfulness.

There’s such interesting science behind it too. Practicing mindfulness will eventually allow us to analyze the situation and respond in a healthier way, rather than acting on our brain’s automatic response (which may not always be a balanced reaction and may get us in more trouble).

The science I’m referring to is how our brain responds to stress.

• Amygdala - this is activated to protect us. When we detect fear or danger, the amygdala is triggered to enable us to react (flight, flight, or freeze mode)

• Prefrontal Cortex - this is the problem solving part of our brain. It helps us analyze the situation in order to make decisions, among other functions (our brain is seriously powerful)

The problem is, our prefrontal cortex can struggle when we are faced with traumatic situations. Once the amygdala is activated, it shuts down the connection to our prefrontal cortex. Practicing mindfulness will train our brain to reduce the high amygdala activity so we can use the prefrontal cortex more. We will then be able to go from the emotional fight or flight reactions, to respond in a more balanced way after analyzing a situation more calmly.

Like most skill sets, mindfulness takes time and practice. Please remember to be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time.

Below are some helpful apps that are free to use (you may have to pay if you wish to use additional functions on the app but they are super helpful even without having to pay for a subscription):

• Mindshift

• Calm

• Headspace

Wise Mind

We all have an emotional mind, a rational mind, and a wise mind. But what are they? And why should we practice Wise Mind?

When we are in the “emotional mind” this is when we are ruled by our moods and feelings. Often when we are in this state of mind, facts, logic and reasons are not important. We are simply reacting based on our emotions. Usually this happens when emotions are running high. For example, when I saw that the new iPhone came out (yay!) I got so excited that I immediately added it to my shopping cart. Credit card bills be damned.

When we are in the “rational mind” this is when we are ruled by facts, logic and reason. Feelings and emotions are not important when we are in this state of mind. Using that same iPhone example above, if I was in the rational mind, I would recognize the fact that I am not a baller, I already have the latest iPhone in perfect condition, and that I simply do not need to buy a new iPhone.

The “wise mind” is the happy middle ground between the emotional mind and the rational mind, taking into account both your urges/feelings AND the facts/logic. Again, using my same iPhone example, if I was in the wise mind, I would acknowledge my financial situation, even though I am super excited about the new iPhone with the fancy cinematic camera function. Instead of rushing to buy the iPhone right away, I would look into trading in my last phone to help with the costs, and perhaps put aside some money over the next few pay cheques before making such a large purchase.

If each of these minds were represented as fictional characters:

• The Emotional Mind: Homer from the Simpsons, or Kelly from The Office

• The Rational Mind: Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, or Spock from Star Trek

• The Wise Mind: Yoda from Star Wars

Both the emotional mind and the rational mind are important in our decision making process, but it can be detrimental if we only operate in one or the other. By finding that balance between the two, we can acknowledge our feelings while honoring the facts and reasoning.

As someone who is suffering from depression, anxiety and PTSD, it is difficult for me to operate outside of my emotional mind. I am easily triggered and driven by the overwhelming emotions and intrusive thoughts. Below are a few tips that I find helpful to get me from the emotional mind to the wise mind.

• Distraction - this will allow myself to get some distance so that my emotions aren’t running as high and I don’t do anything I will regret later. The distractions can be any activity that takes you away from that immediate thought or situation. It could be watching an eppy on Netflix, going for a walk, texting a friend etc.

• Repeating a positive affirmation that will help ground you. I have a few that I would repeat to myself such as, “you are safe”, “this feeling will pass” etc.

• Opposite emotion/action - doing the opposite of what I’m feeling. For example, I know that when I’m angry I may want to say something hurtful, so instead I will take a sip of water or walk away from the situation. Or when my depression takes over and I can’t get out of bed, I will force myself to get up for a snack just to get my body moving. I do find this one quite difficult, but when I am able to achieve this, I am usually proud of myself later when I reflect on what happened.

It takes practice to be in the wise mind, especially since our emotions can be so overwhelming sometimes. Please remember to be kind to yourself, and take it one day at a time. Being compassionate with yourself can go a long way when working on your mental health.